Truth, courage, and expression are three values I hold dear. So why has it taken me so long to truly live by these principles?
I think it’s because I hold these values in such high regard that it adds more pressure. Fearing I might fail, I convince myself that someday I’ll be brave enough to speak my truth and fully express myself. In the meantime, I keep mulling it over, reading about others who are doing exactly what I aspire to, and secretly hoping to bypass the hard work it actually requires. Yet, deep down, I know that embracing these actions is exactly what will propel me toward my dreams.
Currently, this is how it manifests in my life:
I absolutely adore books—bloody love them! I read incessantly. Not fiction, though; I don’t want to “waste” my time on that. I dive into self-help, spiritual awakening, yoga asana, medical texts, anything about how the mind and nervous system work. I download every podcast and PDF I can find.
It’s become an endless pit of trying to acquire more knowledge. But now, I read so much that the ideas start conflicting with each other. It’s confusing and overwhelming, trying to figure out who to listen to and who to trust more.
Lately, I’ve become curious about this incessant need for more information. It’s no longer just a passion for reading and learning—it’s morphed into a mask for the real work I need to do.
When I reflect on this part of myself, I see a girl who is desperately searching for answers but is scared to look within. A girl still seeking external validation, afraid of being criticized, called out, or worse, ignored. She clings to ‘experts’ as many as she can find, yet until she looks within and recognizes what’s true for her, she’ll never find what she’s truly seeking.
So, I’ve decided to shift my focus from external learning to going inward.
Knowledge embodied becomes wisdom.
It’s time to face the discomfort of expressing myself, to write about what’s true for me right now, and to practice the skill of expression instead of just consuming the ideas of others.
Practically speaking, I plan to do this by taking time for myself, creating a ritual (I much prefer this term to routine), and committing to writing every day for 7 weeks. Why 7 weeks? Because I’m part of a program that provides structure and accountability. This approach is new and different for me, and I’m excited to see how my expression unfolds. I’ll keep you updated!